my “growth group” for church tonight was so good. i was thinking about it the entire drive home (which is actually quite lengthy) and i had a small revelation. nothing i’ve never really thought before. probably nothing new to you either, but i it was like i saw it in a whole new light. here it is: i wish i was perfect. all my problems stem from the fact that i’m not and i wish i was. i wish things didn’t bother me the way they did. i wish i didn’t treat people poorly, and even if i don’t take it that far, i wish i never thought to treat people poorly. i wish i never even wanted to. the reality is that i’m not. (surprise, i know!) the problem is, i often expect perfection from myself. and even form others. (so unfair.) so then when i make a mistake, not only am i mad at whoever/whatever is the brunt of my frustration, but i’m also angry with myself. thankfully, i have a God who knows my imperfection, and forgives me when i screw up, which seems to be a lot lately.

“I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection form the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Phil. 3:10-14