it’s been an interesting ride here at concordia. in an effort to embrace this lutheranism in an avenue i’m comfortable with, i’m celebrating my first season of lent. i’ve given up something before, but never with much background or understanding. this time i’ve invested more in understanding why i’m giving something up and reflecting on Christ’s suffering. it’s been kinda tough. not painful or physically difficult. just an inconvenience to my preferences sort of tough. it’s actually pathetic when i think about it, realizing this choice that is intended to remind me of Christ’s suffering is such a miniscule thing to deny myself. but God is using it to teach me more about my pride, as well as the things i choose to think on. He’s also reminding me of His suffering, which I’m learning, is the point.
as far as this whole lutheran thing goes… man. it’s been rough. i often feel like an outsider. brings me back to when i first started college. no real church background, always feeling a step behind. it’s like there’s a club i’m not in. do i have different theological convictions? definitely. are they deal breakers? not entirely. the biggest struggle is the culture. which gets me thinking about the culture of the whole southern baptist thing i was part of before. if i wasn’t down with that denomination i probably would have felt like an outsider too. i’m trying to learn. trying to be open. but i often feel this need to defend myself. my intentions. my convictions. my knowledge. it’s exhausting.
ludicrosity. not a word, but it helped with the alliteration. been reading through Joshua and thinking about all the things God asked of His people that seemed so ridiculous. over and over again He asked His people to do things that went completely against the cultural norm or any human logic. when God asks me to do something against the norm or logic i immediately dismiss it. i convince myself there’s no way God would ask that of me. enh, wrong. i am officially committing myself to doing what God asks, regardless of what it looks like to others or if it makes no sense to me.
